why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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