even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize