I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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