Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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