were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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