This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize