I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize