I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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