omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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