Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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