Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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