i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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