just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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