our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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