There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
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Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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