some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
accomplished twins. life is a go
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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