So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize