My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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