I need help removing her.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize