I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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