i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize