There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize