You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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