look no pants
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize