my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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