Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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