It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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