She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize