I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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