The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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