take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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