Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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