4 words: hood of his car
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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