I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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