I got chris browned last night
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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