corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize