P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize