either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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