Already got asked if we're dating
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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