just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize