Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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