Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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