You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize