between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize