So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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