My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize