..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
there is glitter all over my balls
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