12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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