So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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