Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I would fuck him just for his dog
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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